BORNS - Seeing Stars - First Draft Feedback....

Hi everyone,

After recently releasing my first draft I have asked for feedback from my peers in order so that I can improve further in order to make a great music video.

Here is the feedback that I received:

• Good range of shots, well edited and pace maintained throughout.
• Good use of timelapses.
• Good use of colour correction, try and ensure all shots have a similar consistency of colour to fit the mood of the song.
• Obviously you are going to have a go at doing some graphic overlays which I think could really make the difference.
• I’m not sure the shots in front of the gate and field really convey what a music video should - especially such a positive one.
• Really like the whip pans into the next shot and the transitions where he seems to sequence into the next shot, e.g. jumping into the next shot. You could perhaps use this technique again from the interior shots.
• Some interior shots needed or different location/walking down the street/urban shots would also add something extra to the scenery and location of the music video to add more variation to it.

Some ideas:

• Getting up, making breakfast whilst lip-syncing…mix of tracking shots, MS and CU, toast popping to the beat, spreading butter to the rhythm whilst singing, toast is burnt but he doesn’t care as he’s happy.
• Or lip-syncing whilst sat on the sofa watching TV, if you can get 2 other people to be in it film the first shot as a time-lapse with just two either side and the middle empty. Then film him by himself lip-syncing…there’s lots of stuff going on around him but he’s happy anyway.
• More focus on aspects of mise-en-scene, i.e urban shots.
• The actor could write on a card to his loved one and insert it into the postbox before the postbox shot.

Improvements:

• 1.54 - bit awkward that shot, is he looking out for a car?
• 2.52 - the horse shots don’t really add much to it or the pan shot of the road.
• I think the ending needs to be more of a ‘final shot’, with perhaps a close-up of the actor singing directly into the camera.

I will be definitely be taking these comments on board, as I want to create a successful and enjoyable music video. Therefore, a second draft will be released soon - hopefully including more varied shots like urban shots mentioned within my feedback, which I think would add a better variety of shots within my music video.

Hope you enjoyed reading!

See you soon!